Monday, April 18, 2011

Rant: I Hate Long Coats

Yes, I know it is now spring and I know it is coming to a point where coats are despised by everyone.  But it snowed yesterday in my hometown, so this post gets a pass.  Also, rants are uncontrollable fits of rage and I cant keep myself from posting them (even if they are about women's fashion).

I’ve seen an absurd number of girls wear this coat or similar coats this past winter… and I really hate it.  Long coat might not be the correct name, but that isn't the point of this rant.  I just don’t see why the coat has to be so long.  My kneecaps don’t need to be protected by my coat.  I have another article of clothing to protect my knees - pants.  I don't care if it's fashionable; chop off the bottom and make another coat.

This coat makes anyone who wears it look homeless.  You could take a great looking girl and put her in this coat and I would toss a few quarters her way in hopes that she spends it on food rather than meth .  I’m a guy so I appreciate seeing more of girls.  If I was a single guy trying to pick up a girl, I'd be even more infuriated.  How are you supposed to know what they look like?  If you pair the long coat with the summer-favorite gigantic sunglasses, there would be no need for a Witness Protection Program.  It'd be impossible to tell who anyone was.

Also, the coat is puffy and rigid.  With this coat, the shape stays circular as if it were held in place by a wire frame.  I feel like girls could just crouch down in the coat and live inside their impenetrable fortresses.  Those things are certified fallout shelters.  I don't even think these can be called coats.  

If you're a girl, don't wear one of these.

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