Worst: Stupid Mistakes

Everyone has been here.  We all make mistakes.  As humans, we rely on basic methods of communication to function.  We greet people almost the same way every time.  Here's an example:

"Hey, what's up?" says a guy you rarely speak to.

"Nothin' much.  What about you?" you reply.

"Nothing."

END OF CONVERSATION

No one stops and tells the other person what they are up to, how they are actually feeling, or anything at all.  We have automatic responses stored in our minds to help us get through the day.  Our minds try to make every day conversations mistake-proof.  But, of course, there are times when simple conversations/actions embarrass us or make things awkward.

Here are the five worst things that plague our conversations.  Please think before saying/doing any of these things:


1. "Thanks, you too."

As shown in the picture above, this is an awkward moment we have all experienced.  We say it, realize what we said, and then leave before we embarrass ourselves any further.  Fast food and movie theater employees love it when people say this to them.  It makes their terrible jobs bearable for a few seconds.  Don't let them have that satisfaction.  Think before you speak and tell them to have a good night working.

2. The Awkward Wave

What is the automatic response when you see someone waving at you?  You wave back, right?  Oh, wait - he/she was waving at someone behind you and now you look stupid.  Maybe you don't realize it at first and this person walks your way - you attempt to talk to them.  But, of course, they ignore you because they weren't waving at you.  This isn't something you can pass off as head scratch.  Your hand was definitely waving.  It's best to just assume that no one ever notices you.  Just ignore people until they shout out your full name and make physical contact with you.

3. The Awkward Handshake

Jimmy Fallon knows what I'm talking about.

This is another one that people continuously fail at.  You see someone you know, there are no awkward waves involve, but you still screw it up with the handshake.  It used to be simple - there was just the simple handshake.  Now we have the pound/fist-bump, the high five, and plenty of other things that I have trouble describing in words.  It's complicated and your brain becomes confused.  Instead of doing the correct thing, you practically punch your acquaintance's hand.  Don't offer your hand until they offer theirs.

4. Do I know you?

Everyone has mistaken someone for someone else at some point in their lives.  It sucks.  I don't have 20/20 vision - everyone looks familiar from far away.  You think you see someone you know, and you yell "HEY" or clap them on the shoulder or even make an inside joke.  Then you get a blank stare from someone you've never met - someone who actually looks nothing like the person you were thinking of.  I've learned to wait until I know for sure.


5. Forgetting Names

"Hey, uh...girl.  How's it going?"
"You don't know my name.  Do you?"
"...I'll just leave.  Sorry."

I can never remember the names of people I meet.  It's like there's a black hole in my brain that prevents me from knowing vital information.  You can try to get this unknown person to reveal his/her name, but usually it just doesn't work.  Sometimes you can get through a conversation without knowing someone's name, but introductions are the worst ("This is... uhhh").  If you're lucky, people will introduce themselves, but that only happens 7% of the time in my experience.